Adoption

A New Semester and Maybe A New Chapter

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 8 Comments

Winter break is officially over.  I start back as a teacher today and as a student.  I am happy to be teaching one class again this semester.  It is of course a new class, so I have a lot of preparing to do, as I can’t really use what I did last semester.  Not that I would want to, as I was just trying to survive last semester.  I am exciting about the upcoming semester.  I am going to be doing some fun things with my students and hope to really get them thinking and interacting.  Last semester, the class I taught was soooooooo boring and not a great class.  I applaud those who stuck out the entire semester.  I certainly didn’t want to.  I was able last semester to have a great assignment that made me construct a unit of study for the class I am teaching (I could have done any class, but since I am teaching I wanted the assignment to be something that I could use).  It is a great course idea and after talking to my  supervisor, I am excited to know that my classroom is my classroom and to go for it.  YEAH!!!

Well, this week our agencies will be giving out referrals of the babies that they have in their care.  I am of course hoping that we get our referral this week (but am not counting on it).  But what I am really looking forward to is moving up the list and knowing that we are that much closer to getting to meet (even if virtually) our little girl. 

We have also decided that we are going to undergo IVF this fall.  I am excited and nervous about that.  I am committed to losing 40-60lbs before we undergo IVF.  I know that is a tall order, but I am committed and once I commit to something, I am pretty tenacious about it.  I want very badly to have a brood of children.  We will adopt that brood without any regrets and will enjoy our large family.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to get pregnant (at least once) and have a biological child.  I would also be lying if I didn’t say that I have come to terms with my infertility and I am just as happy to adopt all of my children.  It has taken some time to get to this place and I have to say that I love where I am at. 

I have made no resolutions this year except for one.  I want to be a better person.  I am going to do better.  I am going to be better.  So far so good. 

We Now Return You To Your Regularly Scheduled Program Already In Progress

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

I have been in a bit of a funk lately. Post-Christmas let down.  I love Christmas and the excitement that builds up to it and then in one quick moment (kinda like the first time) it is over and you are left with only the memory.  My Christmas was awesome and I certainly wish it could last longer.  I know our bank account is happy it doesn’t last longer.  It isn’t the gifts part I wish lasted, it is the holiday cheer that infects everyone.  It is the time off and the getting together with friends and family.  It is too bad that regular life gets in the way.  Oh well, until next year. 

Another contributing factor to my funk has been my laziness.  I have been busy running errands, etc., but I hadn’t seen the inside of the gym for nearly 14 days and that always makes me feel crappy.  Put on top of that all the crap I have eaten and the fact that I stopped journaling my food has made me feel–well like shit and fat.  I did get back on the horse and go spinning today and I am back on track with my food consumption.  Oh how unfair it is that we just can’t eat everything we see and not blow up like an overfilled balloon. 

Hubby has also been a little funky lately and he has a powerful aura about him.  If he is down in the dumps the whole house is buried in his depression and gloom.  He is feeling better–I am not sure but I think it is safe to say that the 72 degrees yesterday and round of golf might have contributed to his overall feeling of happiness. 

So, things are slowly getting back on track and Minnow is growing and growing and just does not stop.  He runs everywh…pardon me for this interuption, but my little Minnow just spilled a little water and then ran off and came back with a kleenex.  Wiped it up. Said “all gone” and handed me the wet kleenex.  Where did this kid come from? 

Anyway.  Minnow is all action all the time.  I have been trying to de-TVfy him.  So far, so good.  Yesterday he watched no TV at home–only a little bit at grandpa and grandma’s house.  The day before, we watched 2 episodes of Spongebob before bed.  Today so far, he has watched none.  It is going to be 73 here again today so hopefully he and I will get out and enjoy the day and he can be TV free again. 

There has been no adoption news yet.  Our director posted on our email group yesterday that there are about a dozen new babies who will be available for referral soon.  So, we could hear as early as next week sometime.  Even if it isn’t our time yet, I know we are certainly closer. 

Thanks for hanging in there. 

Someone Was Good This Year

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

Merry Christmas Internets.  I am posting from my new and awesome HP Laptop.  I have been a “good” girl this year.  I have been wanting a new laptop because my laptop is about 4 years old and in technology time that is ancient–the “t” key has been missing for nearly 2 years and the “e” is hanging on precariously by sheer hope alone.  Now that I am embarking on the long road of earning the dear little letters “PhD or EdD” after my name, Santa thought I deserved a new laptop.  I love Santa.  I also got an awesome flash for my camera–which will take me months and months to learn how to use and a digital picture frame from Santa’s mom. 

Santa brought hubby a golf gps thingy…in the golf world I hear it is pretty cool.  Santa also got hubby a much covetted Wii.  He was very surprised and is very very excited. 

Santa also brought us a 5-pack of baseball tickets for the family–even Minnow got a ticket.  Minnow got a wagon from my dad and bonus mom, an easel and lots of art supplies from Santa and he got lots and lots of other things.  Too much that I would bore you all to pieces with the long list of things that Minnow got–I am glad he isn’t really old enough to understand this whole getting presents thing; otherwise, he would be completely ruined for ever!

I am thankful beyond all belief that I am lucky enough to have the great family I am.  This holiday seaon has also been one of great saddness for me.  I am sad that Minnow’s mom does not have the great pleasure of raising this amazing child.  I am sad for all that has been lost and cannot be regained.  I wish I could in someway repay her for the amazing gift she has given not only us but this world. Those of you who know Minnow know what I mean.  My wish for her this holiday season is that she somehow senses and knows what an amazing little boy he is and I hope she knows how much he is loved by everyone.  I will do my best to honor her gift to us by raising the best little man that I can. 

Merry Christmas. 

Things Like This Piss Me Off or Day 27

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 5 Comments

The world of international adoption is one that seems to be open to constant scruitiny and supposition by the press.  I have written about this before (sorry no links–you’ll have to search if interested).  Why is it that the media and the press feel it is their job to plaster a child’s loss all over the front page of papers, etc.  Why do we only see this in international adoption and only recently.  Jamie Lee Curtis’ daughter is adopted and I don’t recall reading all about how and why she was given up and how dare some family want to raise her as their own.  Nor with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman’s adopted children.  What about Rosie’s kids?  Why don’t we delve into their pasts and take their private and painful beginnings and discuss the ethics of those adoptions. Are does the media only care when it might be Sensationalized?  Why don’t we question why people here in the US give up their children for adoption or how our country here is so unfair that poor pregnant girls sometimes feel that they have no other choice but adoption?  But we question why someone in a developing nation would give up their child? 

Does it really matter why or how a child came to be available for adoption?  I am not saying that we should ignore possible breaches of ethics–domestic and international–but these stories are not just stories.  These stories are personal tragedies that have befallen to real people.  Zahara one day will be old enough to read the article above that the Daily Mail published.  How do you think that will make her feel?  I certainly wouldn’t want my son to read an article like that about himself.  It saddens me that selling papers and making money is more important than the welfare of a child and the privacy of that child’s beginning in life.  Adoption is something to be celebrated not demonized. 

I am thankful that I am neither rich or famous.  I am thankful that my child can grow up in peace and I can parent without judgement. 

Thankful Post Three or Day 21

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

It is very humbling to sit and think about all the things you are thankful for and the reasons why you are thankful for them.  And how much larger some of these things are than my little somewhat insignificant self.  Today my thanks goes a long way–half way around the world from where I sit right now. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to be Minnow’s mom. 

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He is the light of my life.  I was angry for a long time that I was infertile.  Nothing we tried worked (we will attempt IVF this summer/fall).  I felt like a failure as a woman.  It was my job as a woman to bring forth child and I couldn’t.  I won’t get into those feelings as this is a post about thanks.  I now understand why I have been cursed/blessed with infertility.  I was meant/destined to be Minnow’s mom.  I cannot imagine for even a nanosecond another child being mine.  Minnow is a part of me in every way a child is a part of their parent.  I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on him that he was my son.  I loved him instantly and the love has only grown stronger and deeper each moment he is my son.  I am thankful that I could not conceive because if we did we would not have Minnow. 

For those of you who have never met Minnow–which is the majority of you–he is an amazing little boy.  He lights up a room when he enters and his smile is genuine, deep, and embodies his very amazing spirit.  He is strong-willed and loving.  He is special.  He has changed our lives for the better and for that I will be forever grateful. 

I am also grateful to Ethiopia for opening its doors to those of us across the globe who want to desperately to be parents and have chosen adoption or whose only hope of parenthood is adoption.  I am forever grateful to Ethiopia for giving us our son. 

I am thankful (and sad) beyond words that Minnow’s birthmom has allowed for us to raise this child.  I feel so strongly that we were meant to be his parents and because of that I must also feel that Minnow’s mom really had no other choice but to give him up.  I do not know her circumstances but I am no longer guilty at being grateful that she was courageous enough to give Minnow to us.  I think of her often and I hope that she can feel deep in her heart and soul that Minnow is very loved and is a very special boy.  Thank you MA.  We love you and are very grateful for you. 

I am thankful that I am a mom.  I am thankful that being a mom has helped me better understand my parents as well as hubby’s parents.  Parenthood is awesome.  Parenthood cannot be taken for granted as we don’t know how long we have with those we love.  Minnow knows his birth mom loved him–he is so giving of love.  I know this is only because he has been loved since the day he was born–probably even before. 

 Thank you….