Parenting

Humdrum

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Life is kinda boring and humdrum these days.  Not much going on other than school, work, kids and really how much can I write about them?  Just joking–consider this entire blog is pretty much dedicated to those 3 things. 

I haven’t heard from any more school districts and know that a lot of districts won’t begin the whole interviewing process until May–but that doesn’t make me feel any better knowing that some of the student teachers this semester already have interview with other districts–ones that I also applied to.  I’m just more expensive than they are. 

I also applied for a graduate assistantship and have to admit that while it doesn’t pay much it is my first choice, since my future career is to be a professor and not a high school teacher.  Getting an assistantship would help me considerably in the future with securing a university position.  I sadly didn’t get an assistantship in my area, but the associate dean of the college of education was so impressed with me and my cv that she found another possible assistantship working with charter schools.  I am interviewing for that assistantship next Thursday.  I am hoping I get this position as it is working with a world-class professor and it will allow me to get much needed experience in the world of academia so that when I finally have that PhD, I can get a job. 

_________________________________________________

On another note–I dare say that Noah is potty-trained as far as peeing goes.  The rest–quite another story.  If he is wearing underwear he’ll ask for a pull-up to poop.  He wants to poop on the toilet but hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it.  I think he will soon. 

His sister on the other hand is a piece of work.  She is a pistol.  I wish she was starting to talk more–she’s a screamer and is happy to just scream.  She’s cute and has that going for her.  I am sure she’ll talk soon, but she isn’t babbling as much as Noah did and I think part of that is due to the fact that her brother actually never shuts up and the only way for her to get a word in is to scream as loud as she can.  We’ll see how that develops.  She is almost 18 months and I would certainly like to see her start to talk more. 

_________________________________________________

One week from tonight I will be in New Orleans for a weekend with my hubby and best friend and without my kids.  Is it wrong to be as excited as I am?

Parenting Mistake #1,387,792

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

So commences Operation potty-train Noah and operation No More Binky.  Both of these pre-emptive strikes are wearing on me just a little and have caused me a great deal of stress and guilt.  First off, Noah absolutely must be COMPLETLY potty-trained by the first day of school in late-August.  If he isn’t then he can’t start school and we will then be paying tuition for him not to be going to school.  That gives me just over 4 months to get him there. 

We have started and have been working on it for a long time.  So, to help the process along, I decided to buy him some really cool stuff to give him as prizes for making it a full day without peeing in his diaper.  I plan to make a sticker chart so that he can earn some of the things that I bought him.  So you are wondering exactly where this mistake is?  Well he was with me when I went shopping for his potty-prizes.  So, it’s been a battle because he doesn’t understand why he can’t have all of the things right now.  This is because he is spoiled and he has always gotten the things that I have bought him right away, etc.  So, this hasn’t been necessarily working in my favor.  I have learned another valuable lesson. 

In terms of potty-training, I have decided that while at home the whole wearing only underwear really helps–while he did pee a little bit twice on the floor yesterday–he was able to stop the pee and come and tell us that he had to potty.  He is beginning to put the two things together.  It is really easy to not think about it if you don’t have to.  So, I will be sticking with this tactic at home for the next few weeks–I totally need to invest in more big boy underwear for him.  But another issue is that I have been putting too much pressure on him to poop on the potty (I know exciting talk) that he hasn’t gone in a nearly a week.  The poor kids stomach must hurt so bad.  Lesson 2–pressure is bad. 

On a brighter note–we are surviving without the binky and he fell asleep last night in my arms at 9:30–earliest night all week.  I’ll begin putting him to bed before he is asleep as soon as he adjusts. 

So, bring on the potty-training tips.  Just know my kid isn’t motivated by food or a lot of things for that matter.

What You Don’t Learn Until It’s Too Late

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

and I do mean too late.  Okay, maybe it isn’t too late, it just feels like too late.  For what you ask?  Not spoiling Noah.  I must admit it freely and openly here–Noah is a spoiled little brat.  I missed the easy window of cutting back on the things he gets.  Now it’s a frickin’ nightmare.  He has pretty much always gotten everything he wanted because it was just he and I and he never really asked for too much.  Little did I know that it doesn’t matter how much or little they ask for things it matter how much or in this case little I say “NO.”  Which in our case hasn’t been too often. 

I am paying the price for doing it the easy way.  I didn’t know there would be these drastic consequences.  Maybe hubby tried to tell me there would be but I didn’t want to believe that I could really spoil my child.  But I have and I have done it very successfully.   Now, the hard work starts.  The de-spoiling.  I don’t know exactly how to go about it, but I am trying and it is hard because my little boy is so cute and I wanted him for so long and I do want him to have everything he wants.  But now I have to teach him to work for it and he is thinking that that idea totally sucks.  Well, it does. 

I know that Noah’s behaviors are a little more magnified right now because he just had a birthday and he got lots of presents and a party and he likes presents.  Who doesn’t?  But I have to admit I have babied him a little–but I can’t apologize for that.  The love I feel for him (and for Zoë) is so strong and all encompassing that I have had a hard time being strong and saying no.  I am getting better at it, but it is hard because we are in the process of taking his binky away so he isn’t sleeping great and that makes him and me a little more crabby. 

So, all you experts out there who are a way better parent then me–not only did I spoil Noah, I let him watch TV almost whenever he wants–let me in on ways to break a spoiled child?  I need help and advice and even an “it will get better.”

Well Hell…

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

I don’t even know where to begin, other than to say I should be studying and reading about Writing Across the Curriculum until my eyes bleed and brain explodes since I have a literature review due in one week and we are leaving for vacation on Monday and the paper is a minimum of 10 pages.  I have thus far read 23 articles of varying length (4-25 pages each) and have about 10 more to read, plus I have 3-4 books to overview (skim) to also include in the review.  This task is one that has kept me from blogging recently.  That and the immense guilt I feel when I am doing something completely unrelated to the task at hand.

But, did I mention we are going on vacation?  A real family vacation.  As in just us four.  I am looking forward to it.  We are going to Orlando and are staying most of our stay at the Nick Hotel.  I am looking forward to a vacation and Noah is looking forward to Disney World.  Yes, I know he is too young (not even 3 yet–but he’s super close to it).  But that is the beauty of it.  We don’t have to pay for either of the kids because they are under 3 and Bill’s never been to Disney World.  He grew up in LA and has been to Disney Land, but this will be a new experience for him.  And to get to see it through their eyes will be awesome.

What else is going on over here?  I have been applying like crazy for jobs.  Interviews will probably start in April for the most part.  The application deadline for many of them was this week and then they will most likely weed out people and then interviews should start.  I did interview twice with one district and they will be calling folks back at the end of the month for third interviews at the building level.  I am just not looking forward to this whole process.  I am going to a teacher job fair on Friday after work and it’s just pure torture.  But I am still more than ever ready to go back to work.  So, we’ll see what happens.  It’ll all work out the way it should.  I hope.

Tomorrow is the day that acceptance letters are mailed out by the two schools that we applied to for Noah.  I am nervous and excited to see where he was accepted and to see what our financial aid award might be.  This is harder than when I was waiting to see if I got into college when I finally decided to go back.  I will certainly be posting here when I know for sure.

Oh, and as far as bad mother of the year goes.  I forgot to lock the screen door–Noah has become quite the escape artist.  He likes to go outside and come back in.  So we were all playing in the backroom today–he and Zoë were chasing each other and I was the ending spot in the backroom.  They ran back and forth a few times and then they stayed up front–which isn’t odd as there are toys everywhere in this house.  I was petting the dogs and could hear Zoë screaching and laughing.  Then another minute or two goes by and I hear the door open.  I run up front and Noah is yelling proudly “I’m back” and I am thinking Back, where the hell did you go and how did I not know? He proceeds to tell me that “The nice man helped me open the door to come back in.”  Needless to say I flip out.  I yell a little at him–because I am so mad at myself for leaving the door unlocked.  I am freaking out that I had no idea he was outside and that some “man” helped him.  It turned out that man was our neighbor who has kids and one of them is Noah’s age, but still.  It could have gone so wrong and I would have no one to blame but myself.

It really is/was one of those moments that you question  yourself.  I would never forgive myself if anything had happened to him.  I am still a little shaken up and I cried with him. He just doesn’t understand and how could I expect him to.  He is not yet 3.  So, let me just say it wasn’t one of my finer moments.  But he is safe and sound and the doors are locked.

A brief year of exercise update–I have made it to the gym everyday this month except for 3 days (in a row) because I had hurt my lower back.  But I am pretty impressed with myself so far.  Oh and where we are staying in Orlando has a gym. I’ll be working out there too.

That Damn Media

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / Leave a comment

I have posted about this whole “octo-mom” thing.  I admit I was judgemental.  I’ll say it.  I was and we all have been.  There is a great momversation about it and the whole judging mothers thing that all of us like to do.  It’s natural but really isn’t all that productive.  Rebecca really made me think about it from a different perspective and I appreciate that. 

I blame the media for so much of what is happening.  Again, these are all real people involved and we don’t know what the outcome of this is going to be for those innocent children.  It is awful that they have to have their young life invaded by media speculation and world-wide judgement of their mother.  That just sucks. 

Hubby and I had decided that we were going to do IVF this fall.  All of this media circus surrounding Ms. Suleman and her babies has caused my husband great pause about undergoing IVF.  Part of him thinks we should be happy and feel blessed with the children we have.  I agree to some point.  I know our situation is different as we are infertile and Ms. Suleman was/is not–she is just single and that is something very different.  Our cases are not parallel in any way.  But we have to wonder if there will be a backlash against those of us who do conceive through IVF.  Will it all of a sudden be something we don’t talk about anymore?  That would suck. 

We talked about it and have decided to pursue it–because we want more children and we would like to exhaust all avenues attempting to create a biological child.  We also plan to adopt if we cannot conceive a biological child.  We know what we want and I know it isn’t 8 kids at once (or at all for that matter).  And, I’ll continue to talk about our avenues for creating the family we want.