Let The Madness Begin

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 1 Comment

Well, it’s that time of year again.  NaBloPoMo.  I know, you are thinking…don’t you have enough crap going on in your life Dawn.  Do you really need to torture yourself by posting every day. 

I know.  But I did it last year and I succeeded.  I am looking forward to having a goal that I just might be able to complete.  We’ll see how it goes. 

Today we had Zoë’s first birthday party.  It was a lot of work and a lot for fun.  I’ll post more about tomorrow but wanted to make sure that I got today’s post in.  Oh, and here’s a pic of the birthday girl enjoying her cake…she dove right in. 

Nearing The End Of My Rope

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 13 Comments

Zoë won’t sleep.  She fights it and I am running on fumes and those fumes are quickly evaporating.  I am lucky on a typical day if she naps for 90 minutes–all day.  She is going to be one in a few days and I know she needs more sleep. I know I do.  She has been up at night the past few nights for at least 2 hours.  She is tired but doesn’t want to sleep–she cries and cries and cries.  I hold her and she cries.  I lay her down and she cries.  She is yet sleeping through the night–we are going on 4 months with barely a full night of sleep–wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have two active children all day who don’t nap at the same times.   I am lucky that Noah is still is a good napper–he wakes in the middle of the night occasionally but goes back to sleep rather quickly. 

I am at a loss for ways to help her become a better sleeper.  Part of that is I have no patience left.  I am tense and very quick to frustration and anger.  She napped this afternoon for about 40 minutes and woke up crabby and cried for quite some time. She started rubbing her eyes and so I put her back to bed–she has been crying and I just can’t deal with it.  I am no longer going to be embarrassed or ashamed that I am at my wits end.  That I don’t know what to do. That I can’t handle the not sleeping. That I am struggling with the crying and the refusal to go to sleep.  I need some help.  I need some advice.  I need somethings that I can try.  Because this has to end before I lose it. 

Where The Wild Things Are!

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

I feel a little like I am living inside the book.  My world isn’t exactly how I pictured it and sometimes I have to wonder if I have just dreamed it all up.  I am not saying in anyway that my life is bad.  I wouldn’t trade my hubby or kids for anything.  They are awesome.  I just often wonder why I get to be happy and others struggle to find it.  Then I have to questions what is happiness anyway. 

I know that happiness certainly is subjective and I certainly have to admit that overall I am happy but there are certain aspects of my life that I couldn’t be more unhappy with.  But I have the things that are important–health, love, family and a home.  After a night out with friends, I have a wonderful husband waiting for me at home.  I know that not everyone is meant to be a family person nor is everyone destined to be married.  But what about those who want it so badly.   Don’t they deserve the happiness that I never thought I wanted and certainly never looked for.  My world and where I have ended up seems like a fantasy that I created just like the little boy in Where the Wild Things Are! which was one of my favorite books and still is a favorite kid’s book of mine. 

I don’t know how I got here exactly but I am glad that I did.  I wish there was a recipe as I have friends who long to have the happiness (husband, family, home) that I do and I feel sad that I can’t help them get there.  I am lucky and I need to remind myself of that often.  I am lucky to have all that I have.  I am lucky the wild things found me. 

Let The Gays Have Their Forever Happiness Too

/ Dawn Kasal-Finley / 7 Comments

I live in a state that has already banned gay marriage and it make me sick that we have become about taking away freedoms.  There has been a lot of talk and discussion in this political climate about California’s Prop 8–an admendment to ban gay marriage. 

I just don’t understand this need by the conservative religious base in this country to demean the gays.  My brother is gay and he and his partner of 10 years haven’t really thought about marriage–at this point they feel as though they are married and at some point it’s just a piece of paper that our society gives us that allows us legal protection under the law. 

I think marriage is great, but I also think that this idea that marriage is some sort of sacred act that is a union between a couple and God is a little dramatic. If you are a religious person reading this–let’s just agree to disagree.  I am not religious by any means and I don’t think that marriage is necessarily a religious instititution.  It is a social institution that allows us to lay claim to another individual and to make them part of us on paper.  I think we all know that marriage in this country has long stopped being a religious institution–when the divorce rate is 50% at best and there are people who are married multiple times and for sometimes less time than it takes to drive cross country says that marriage doesn’t mean what it use to mean. 

I think a big part of the problem is that the religious conservative base is scared that if the gays start getting married in droves, than they are no longer superior and they must recognize that we are all equal under the law of the land and that God truly does love everyone regardless of whom you choose to marry. 

We must all admit–whether we are religious or not–that there is something so special about declaring your love for the man/woman you want to commit to spending the rest of your life with.  I don’t feel as though my marriage to my husband is any less of a marriage because we had a civil ceremony as opposed to a church wedding.  I love my husband and couldn’t be any more committed to him if we had been married by a steward of God.  I also don’t feel as though my marriage means less as more and more people get divorced and its sanctity is certainly not dimished because a women marry women and men marry men. 

So, if you live in California or one of the few other states that have measures on the ballot that will amend your state consitutition to deny the right of marriage to gays please consider voting against it.  Really, who does it hurt?