One year ago 7000 miles away our little Minnow was laid in our arms. He at that moment became the center or our family. He was sick, barely 10 lbs and was hospitalized. He has since grown over 10 inches and gained 13lbs. He walks, runs, dances and babbles incessantly. He loves SpongeBob, avocado and snuggling with mommy and daddy.

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He has come a long way since this day. As have we. He is everything we could have hoped for and more. I went into this whole motherhood thing with a level of naivete that has since been stomped out by short screaming tantrums, dirty clothes, and lots of sticky messes. I wouldn’t trade any of those difficult moments for anything in the world. Because for each difficult moment there have been big wet kisses, endless giggling, countless high-fives, an infinite number of loving moments that have clearly shown me what really is important in life.

Happy Family Day Minnow. We love you.

I read a great article in Good Housekeeping the other day. It was about emotional eating and why most women–especially mother tend to do it. The author’s thesis is that those of us who are emotional eaters use food to nourish ourselves as we don’t do it in any other way. Food is the way we “take care” of ourselves. I know it might seem counter intuitive to take care of yourself by eating an entire loaf of zucchini bread or an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s, but it makes total sense that that is what I have been doing. Food is really the only thing I do for myself lately. Sad uh? I think this is something that many women struggle with, especially those of us who become mothers later in life. I was pretty much 35 when Minnow came to us. I had spent many a year taking care of what I needed and doing it for me and for no one else.

I think my first slide came when I met my hubby. I started putting him first–once the relationship got serious. I certainly didn’t put him first in those early stages. But once we moved in together and got engaged. I put him first and my needs were second. I ended up gaining a great deal of weight (about 70 lbs). Of course it didn’t happen right away but it did happen. I lost much of the gained weight, only to have Minnow and then gain much of what I lost back. Minnow became first, hubby second and ranked a lowly third on my priority list.

I have come the realization that I am not going to lose the weight and feel good about myself until I take care of myself. Until I put myself first. As a mother, this seems weird. I feel like my child should be put first. I am starting to realize that if I put myself first, my child will reap those benefits. If I go to the gym for an hour and drop minnow in the gym’s child care, he will be okay and will even become more well adjusted to different situations. I need to put myself first. I need to be the best me I can be, so that I can be the best mom and wife that I can be. As I haven’t been very good at either lately. Whether that statement is true or not to Minnow or Hubby doesn’t matter. It is my perception that is my reality.

So ladies of the so very wise blogsphere, how do you take care of you so that you can better take care of your family? How do you find/create your “me” time? How do your nourish your soul? Share your stories here.

Hey all. Just to let those of you who read me–I know the number is small–that I will be moving my blog to my own site. I have decided that blogger has done good by me, but that it is time that I move up to a site that can give me more options. I started this blog to document the journey we took to start our family. It has evolved from that into so much more. I feel it is time for a redesign. Those of you who started with me way back–don’t worry I will still write and document my life as a mom and the next adoption. I have a domain and will post it once the site is up and running. Until then, I will of course continue to write here. I hope you will all join me at my new digs. I have spent a great deal of time coming up with a new title, etc. Something that really fits me and my views of the world, etc.

Until then, keep reading with me here. Because my readers rock!

We went back to said coffee house today. As it is great. I love it. Minnow loves it. But please parent your children when you are out in public. Don’t just shake your head and wonder why your kid is pushing, kicking, hitting, etc. And please don’t offer excuses or psycho babble reasons why said child is aggressive. I don’t care that he is the youngest of 3 boys. I want to see you do something about him hitting the girl. I want to see you watch your child, especially if you know he/she is aggressive. Yes, some of us moms can sit on the sidelines, drink our coffee and chat, because our kids aren’t pushing, hitting, or ripping toys out of other kids’ hands. I’m sorry that you want to sit with us, but you have a job to do–PARENT YOUR CHILD. That means that you need to sit in the play area with your aggressive, grossly misunderstood child and watch them and discipline them. By discipline I do not mean your quietly in nice mom voice say “No Hit” and then return to your seat–which is furthest away from the play area and keep talking. All of this is great until I see you watch as another mother has to wrench her child away from the blows from your child. And not until then do you get up, move, or say anything to your child.

If that is your idea of what a parent is, please don’t bring your child to play with mine. As, I have my hands full parenting my own child. I don’t get paid to parent yours. If you would like me too–I charge $20 an hour.