(okay sometimes two) poached this idea from here. thought it would be fun.

1. Yourself: sweaty

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): amazing

3. Your hair: messy

4. Your mother: well-meaning

5. Your father: awesome

6. Your favorite item: bike

7. Your dream last night: absent

8. Your favorite drink: coffee

9. Your dream car: sporty

10. The room you are in: den

11. Your ex: mexican

12. Your fear: infertility

13. What you want to be in 10 years? published

14. Who you hung out with last night? family

15. What You’re Not? skinny

16. Muffins: pumpkin

17. One of your wish list items: pearls

18. Time: waning

19. The last thing you did: workout

20. What you are wearing: sportsbra

21. Your favorite weather: hot

22. Your favorite book: Sula

23. The last thing you ate: pizza

24. Your life: perfect

25. Your mood: good

26. Your best friend: strong

27. What are you thinking about right now? sex

28. Your car: station wagon

29. What are you doing at the moment? sweating

30. Your summer: destiny

31. Your relationship status: solid

32. What is on your TV? golf

33. What is the weather like? cold

34. When is the last time you laughed? now

I have a major case of them. I am sure that sleep deprivation plays apart. What I wouldn’t give for 6 straight hours of sleep…My house is a major mess. I just don’t seem to have the energy–well that is not really accurate. I don’t have the motivation. I am not sure where to find it. I am hoping this is still just part of the adjustment to being a SAHM and a new mom on top of that. I just wasn’t prepared for how exhausting it is to take care of a baby. I really had this idealist idea of what would be possible, etc.

Or…Maybe I am just using the baby as an excuse to be lazy. This is not off the wall. It is totally possible. I am starting to think that I am using Minnow as an excuse not to get a lot of things done. I don’t know.

On a brighter note. Minnow is so frickin’ adorable. I can’t get over it. His smile is mesmorizing. I to take pics of him for my brother’s beau for their christmas card. He wanted it to look like he was being blown in the wind. I don’t know if I really achieved that effect to my liking, but he liked them. Here are a few.

has been crazy busy. Minnow got more shots but is growing so fast. He grew another 2 inches in the last month. At this rate he will be 5 feet tall at 2 years old. Just kidding…

Had book club tonight and I can’t stress enough how important it is to find “me” time. It really helps me.

Will post more tomorrow.

that so many people in our country are over weight. Eathing healthy in the beginning is hard. After being so random in my eating, I am always surprised at how hungry I am the first week or so of eating healthy and right. Portion control is so hard, but I have to remind myself that even though something is healthy if you eat too much you can still gain weight. I know that trick is to drink a lot of water and I will admit that that is something I haven’t been doing enough lately. So, today was a pretty successful day. I am still a little hungry but in a day or two that will pass. It is ceraintly not because I didn’t eat enough today. I was a little light on protein today, so I will make sure that I add more tomorrow.

On a happier note, I ordered these today. They will take some getting use to. and yes you just ride your bike right on top of the contraption and you stay still. I don’t have many days until I will be pounding out 100 miles. I rode at the gym today as our weather here was not great. But as anyone who bikes know–stationary bikes are not the same. Maybe we will have a mild winter and I will be able to get in a few rides this winter. 13 weeks to go….

I got a few comments and pm’s about posting my weight on line. If I am going to be successful I have to be honest. I need to also be accountable. If all of my readers know that I am trying to lose weight and know what I weigh and what I want to weigh, then I am held accountable. I am not strong enough-at this point-to hold myself accountable. If I were well then I wouldn’t have gained back 20lbs.

Weight has been an issue for me since pueberty. I know I have mentioned this before–I have PCOS and it is a major contributing factor to my weight problems. My weight has been a focus. My mom, she means well, has been on my to watch my weight, to lose weight, etc since pueberty. I was always a thin kid–until I reached a certain age–well that is when the PCOS developed. I could hid most of the weight issue as I was an athelete. I played soccer year round. I was really active. I had a few injuries in high school that caused me to miss most of the season my jr and sr year. I then blew out my knee-had to have ACL reconstruction and was bed ridden for nearly 6 solid months. I packed on quite a bit of weight during that time. With PCOS, it is hard to lose weight–especially if you don’t know you have it. As most women don’t. So this has been a constant struggle for me. I am lucky that I don’t look like my weight. I have a good perctage of muscle mass. I am strong and have some muscle definition. But, I have a long way to go to reach a point where I will once and for all be happy with my body–or so I hope. I know I know have a long term goal. To reach 150 and stay there–forever.

Starting point 219.6 (I Know I said tomorrow-but I really needed to get this off of my chest)

Thank you for all of your support.