I am a person of conviction and when I set my mind to do something, I do it and move on. I set a goal to lose weight…I lost it. I didn’t set the goal to keep if off. I have gained 15 of it back–still down 35. I look short term and seem to totally forget the long term. I have to work on that or else I will forever be the hamster on the wheel that really goes no where.

Last night my best friend called and asked me to ride a century with her in February. I said absolutely. I haven’t ridden a century since Sept 2004. Of course now I am lighter, but I am also out of cycling shape. It is winter where I live and butt ass cold for riding. So I have 4 months to train for a ride and I happen to live in a place where training will be difficult. I am going to have to buy rollers for my bike so that I can ride and condition inside. I am not opposed to riding in the freezing cold, but I can’t take Minnow with me; therefore, my options for training are limited. So, starting Monday back to chalkboard on eating right and exercising. Until my rollers come I will be on the stationary bike at the gym–or on my spinner bike at home. I am setting another short term goal–please hold me accountable–40lbs off my bod by the ride on Feb 10. I am hoping to be riding up to 15 mph–that is still pretty slow but it will be up from my 12mph of my first century. I will post my updates and status. I will weigh in on monday and keep a running log of training, etc.

At least the ride is in Palm Springs. I haven’t been there. I know absurd since I lived in southern california for 9 years.

and Minnow saw zebra’s, giraffes, donkeys, elephants, hippos, and his favorite–a tiger. It was great fun and he was fast asleep before we were finished seeing all the sights.

Nothing cuter than baby feet. I am amazed everyday of how much love Minnow has brought into our house and how much more love there seems to be everyday.

With each new generation there is a changing of the guard in terms of who sets limits, makes rules, etc. This is on my mind as the holidays approach and my MIL is coming for Thanksgiving. She will be staying with us, as she always does. But this time is very different. This time I am a mother, not just the daughter-in-law. My MIL has already stated she wants to help with middle of the night feedings, etc. Well, this isn’t going to happen. We are still bonding with our son. When we are here (we have had a babysitter-my mom and my dad and my bonus mom) we are the ones who provide for all of our son’s needs. I expect that to continue until he has been home six months. This will not set well with my MIL. I have to now set the boundaries of our relationship and her relationshiop with our children. I haven’t had to do this before, as my family lives here so they swing by for an hour here or there. My MIL is coming for 7 days/nights. I will have to be strong and help her fit into our rountine and the way we do things. I know she will feel left out, she already exhibted that when we were in Ethiopia. I will have to help her understand her supporting role. I know this will be hard, as she will only see Minnow once or twice a year. I know that she will want him to get to know her, but I will have to make sure that she understands that I am the mother now.

I wage this battle with my own mom as well. It is hard to find your own mother voice and to voice it lounder and stronger and prouder than the the voices of the mothers who have come before. Any advice?????

Since I have become a mom I have been doing a lot of thinking about the paths I have chosen in life. I know that I would not do much different as if I had, I wouldn’t have met my hubby and might not have my son. But, the older I get I look back and hope that my children don’t take the same paths that I did. I hope to give my children more direction than my parents gave me. I am not saying my parents didn’t do a good job; they did the best that they could as young parents. My mom was only 17 and my dad 21 when I was born. I owe a great deal to my parents. They taught me so much and loved me dearly. I know that my role as my children’s parents will contribute to both their successes and failures. I also know that I don’t bear the sole responsibility. I am on a contributing factor. I want my son to be all that he can be and have a life that will allow and encourage him to become everything the universe has intended him to be. Hence the picture of the bridges. We as his parents are the first bridge, but as his parents we can only watch from the first bridge as he crosses the second. Oh, how bittersweet the view will be.