Parenting Mistake #1,387,792

April 5, 2009 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 4 Comments

So commences Operation potty-train Noah and operation No More Binky. Both of these pre-emptive strikes are wearing on me just a little and have caused me a great deal of stress and guilt. First off, Noah absolutely must be COMPLETLY potty-trained by the first day of school in late-August. If he isn’t then he can’t start school and we will then be paying tuition for him not to be going to school. That gives me just over 4 months to get him there.

We have started and have been working on it for a long time. So, to help the process along, I decided to buy him some really cool stuff to give him as prizes for making it a full day without peeing in his diaper. I plan to make a sticker chart so that he can earn some of the things that I bought him. So you are wondering exactly where this mistake is? Well he was with me when I went shopping for his potty-prizes. So, it’s been a battle because he doesn’t understand why he can’t have all of the things right now. This is because he is spoiled and he has always gotten the things that I have bought him right away, etc. So, this hasn’t been necessarily working in my favor. I have learned another valuable lesson.

In terms of potty-training, I have decided that while at home the whole wearing only underwear really helps–while he did pee a little bit twice on the floor yesterday–he was able to stop the pee and come and tell us that he had to potty. He is beginning to put the two things together. It is really easy to not think about it if you don’t have to. So, I will be sticking with this tactic at home for the next few weeks–I totally need to invest in more big boy underwear for him. But another issue is that I have been putting too much pressure on him to poop on the potty (I know exciting talk) that he hasn’t gone in a nearly a week. The poor kids stomach must hurt so bad. Lesson 2–pressure is bad.

On a brighter note–we are surviving without the binky and he fell asleep last night in my arms at 9:30–earliest night all week. I’ll begin putting him to bed before he is asleep as soon as he adjusts.

So, bring on the potty-training tips. Just know my kid isn’t motivated by food or a lot of things for that matter.

What You Don’t Learn Until It’s Too Late

April 4, 2009 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

and I do mean too late. Okay, maybe it isn’t too late, it just feels like too late. For what you ask? Not spoiling Noah. I must admit it freely and openly here–Noah is a spoiled little brat. I missed the easy window of cutting back on the things he gets. Now it’s a frickin’ nightmare. He has pretty much always gotten everything he wanted because it was just he and I and he never really asked for too much. Little did I know that it doesn’t matter how much or little they ask for things it matter how much or in this case little I say “NO.” Which in our case hasn’t been too often.

I am paying the price for doing it the easy way. I didn’t know there would be these drastic consequences. Maybe hubby tried to tell me there would be but I didn’t want to believe that I could really spoil my child. But I have and I have done it very successfully. Now, the hard work starts. The de-spoiling. I don’t know exactly how to go about it, but I am trying and it is hard because my little boy is so cute and I wanted him for so long and I do want him to have everything he wants. But now I have to teach him to work for it and he is thinking that that idea totally sucks. Well, it does.

I know that Noah’s behaviors are a little more magnified right now because he just had a birthday and he got lots of presents and a party and he likes presents. Who doesn’t? But I have to admit I have babied him a little–but I can’t apologize for that. The love I feel for him (and for Zoë) is so strong and all encompassing that I have had a hard time being strong and saying no. I am getting better at it, but it is hard because we are in the process of taking his binky away so he isn’t sleeping great and that makes him and me a little more crabby.

So, all you experts out there who are a way better parent then me–not only did I spoil Noah, I let him watch TV almost whenever he wants–let me in on ways to break a spoiled child? I need help and advice and even an “it will get better.”

16-and 17-months-old

April 3, 2009 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 3 Comments

Dear Zoë,

Just let me say sorry that I missed last months letter to you. You are a trooper and a good sport. I am sure someday I will have to pay your therapy bill because you were the second child and you will feel shafted in some ways. I can’t blame you. I am the oldest child in my family and I know there are things that I got that my brothers didn’t but you have your brother to love you and look out for you and when he isn’t busy playing Kung-Fu Panda with you he’s a pretty good big brother.

These past two months have been pretty awesome. You are screaming less and that is a good thing, but you are still at the stage that Noah’s emotions are your own and that makes for a bit more work for you mom. If Noah is upset then you are upset. If Noah needs to be held, you need to be held, etc. This is more problematic lately as we have taken away Noah’s binky and we are attempting to de-spoil him. We won’t have that problem with you–you aren’t nearly as spoiled as Noah and I won’t make that mistake twice.

Now, don’t take this the wrong way Zoë, but you are a trouble maker and I mean that in the most loving way possible. One of the funniest things you do is to take something, that someone else needs/wants and then you slowly back up as they ask for it back. You shake your head no, turn and run as fast as you can laughing the entire time. It is hilarious. Then when they–and by they I mostly mean me–catch you; you again laugh like mad. While it can be frustrating it is more cute than anything.

You have taken to questioning me on your body parts. You point to various things–eyes, ears, nose, tongue, head, etc., and wait for me to correctly name the part before you move on. If I give you the wrong answer you shake your head and point to the same place again. I find this hilarious because often when I ask you to point to a body part you get it wrong–or maybe you just aren’t trying. See what I mean, troublemaker.

You have this fetish about your hands and smelling them. Every time you touch something new (see pic above) you have to smell your hands and you like them to smell good and you don’t think goat smells good. We have a bottle of rose water in our bedroom and you are obsessed with having that put on your hands. I must but it on your hands 8 times a day and after each application you put both hands up to your nose and take a big smell and then smile. I think you must get this from your father he too is a bit of a hand smeller. Um…

You are fearless–well I thought you were until we went to Orlando and Mickey and Minnie attempted to touch you. While you liked them from afar and in one way couldn’t wait to see them you didn’t want to get close. It is nice to know you have a little fear in you as that is not really apparent in our everyday life where you don’t hesitate to climb on something or attempt to do exactly what your older brother is doing.

Zoë you continue to grow and change and your personality is really beginning to blossom. Raising you is going to keep me on my feet and I am going to love every minute of it. Your laugh is infectious and your smile is both sweet and mischievous. You stand up for yourself and have stopped letting Noah push you around–you now push back. Keep it up baby girl.

Love you,

Mommy

36-Months-Old

April 2, 2009 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 2 Comments

Dear Noah,

On Tuesday, your turned 36-months-old. I cannot believe you are three. Time has gone so fast. I remember so vividly meeting you for the first time. When you were so small and sick. We were so worried that you would not recover. But you did and I believe it was finally meeting your mommy and daddy that pushed you to make such a speedy recovery. You’ve barely been sick a day since–we won’t count the plane ride from Orlando when you puked all over me.

080

Your vocabulary has continued to explode–in part thanks needs to be paid to Pinky Dinky Doo. You now talk about things being unusual, about being flabbergasted and frustrated. You collaborate with me when we make breakfast. While I like to take some of the credit for your articulation and verbosity–I can’t take it all. I do owe some of the credit to Dora, The Backyardigans, and Pinky. Sorry Max and Ruby no thanks to you with Max’s one word conversation ability. Nick–not all kids speak in only one word.

You’ve hit a new developmental phase. You cry when I leave the house (not all the time–but more often than not)–whether you’re at home with your dad or we are at the gym. Thankfully you don’t cry at school and that’s nice.

You are still fascinated with Cars and Kung-Fu Panda which reminds me that I need to look into Karate classes for you. You act out the movies with the characters and it’s pretty cute. You also much to your straight uncles chagrin love the Care Bears. You have the action figures–you picked those out at your birthday party with all the tickets your uncle won for you. He insisted that you get something cool and you insisted that Care Bears were cool. I had to laugh. Already standing up for yourself and what you like. That will do well for you as you grow old.

We mailed in your school acceptance letter with the deposit. I am excited and happy but also have four words for you before you can start school–Must. Be. Completely. Potty-trained. You are fighting it–part of it is you just have so much going on. I have bitten the bullet and put you in big boy underwear at home–I have to clean up some pee but you are getting to understand the whole potty thing. Because in a diaper you don’t really get why you need to use the potty.

There is so much more I could say, but I don’t want to go on and on. You are an amazing little boy (even though nearly 50% of people who meet you think you are a girl). Your smile lights up the room and your laugh and spirit influences others in ways I am surprised by. I am so proud to be your mother and so very lucky to know you.

Love you,

Mommy

A Birthday Boy

March 30, 2009 / Dawn Kasal-Finley / 6 Comments

Noah will be three tomorrow–he thinks he is already three since we had his birthday party yesterday. I can’t believe he is already 3. More about his party later but here are a few pictures.