So, at the office on Tuesday someone came in to talk to the Dean of the Graduate School (who is my boss) about a doc student who plagiarized their comprehensive exams.  This lead into a long discussion about how stupid that was to work so hard for something and then cheat.  It just doesn’t make sense.  I don’t understand why someone would do that.

Last night as I was sitting on the couch eating a couple pieces of cookie dough, it occurred to me that I am not different from the person who cheated.  I pay a good amount of money to work out with a personal trainer–and I work my butt off when I am with him–but I still am eating a bunch of crappy food and not doing my cardio as often as I should.  I can’t really explain why I do it–this is something that I need to uncover.  I have to wonder if the cheater can explain why they did what they did.  What I do isn’t going to get me kicked out of school but it might force my hubby to say we aren’t paying for the trainer anymore if I’m not going to do everything I can.

This is a hard lesson to swallow and a tough thing to face head on.  I really have to decide what I want and who I am.